Game changer number 2

Today I really got to understand the phrase 'There is no failure only feedback'

Lesson this morning in the rain :-( with Sunday in the middle distance Clare decided today was a good opportunity to go over test riding.

This is where it gets very interesting.

Chorrie went really well, OK a little deep and a bit too much tension on the reins, but he was forwards, happy and performing. Lots and lots to like.

However my world view was different, I didn't like what was going on, I didn't think I was going to fall off or that he'd spook it just felt on the edge of control and when I gave confusing aids and he sort of half passed left I very nearly panicked. It all felt rushed and pressurised. Of course I didn’t mention this to Clare just swallowed it down and tried to cover it up and then it all got too much and it all came blurting out as a garbled message.

Now some time ago that would have felt like failure, I couldn’t enjoy riding the boy how he needed to be ridden, but read on ...

Clare having translated the ninety words a minute thought perhaps the lack of control over what we did where and when may be an issue that was contributing to this feeling, together with holding of breath and not having a connection to him.

So I went off singing 'Happy Birthday' (you have to breathe if you sing!) and repeated some of what we'd been doing and it felt right and it was easy to put the forwards back in.

As I said some time ago it would have felt like failure, but now I have an insight into what presses the button that led/leads me to feeling that way and knowledge is power. I can now see a path to having him forwards and off the leg and going well whilst feeling OK myself. Before I couldn't see a way through to having him forwards and off the leg and going well.

So now I need to get connection and ride at the markers and just blinking well do it at the marker and not take 30 minutes to prepare (!). I need to know my test backwards (not literally!) so I maximise my controlling of the controllables as clearly that is one of my triggers.

I have the knowledge now I need to use it.

How interesting that a lesson where I have to stop is actually a lesson where I get another large piece of the jigsaw.