Friday 27 December 2013

The Secret of Happiness

Bonbon got me thinking

Happiness is IMO something you need to cultivate, you need to stop and capture the moment and 'bank' it for those tougher times. You also need to learn to recognize it, capture the moment and acknowledge it when you do have it.

 I also think there is a lot to be said for counting what you do have and not what you don't, as Miranda the Panda said "Negative thinking is a habit, just as much as positive thinking"

 Chorrie was off games for ages, I could have wallowed and as Bonbon said carried my own little black cloud around with me but the outcome would have been the same, I'd have just made the journey harder. A colleague at work has a mantra 'travel in hope'  I am full of admiration for her. Hence why I tried my best to travel in hope with Chorrie and even though I didn't think too much about him coming sound again, I did say thanks for just having him in my life and being able to kiss his muzzle.

 That said I don't believe it helps much to be told others have it worse. I thought what RoxR wrote on a blog entry summed it up very well

 "While it is always horrid to realise that other people have some truly terrible situations in life, it by no means diminishes a person's own life's challenges at their own particular time - everyone is as deserving of a hug and support when they need it, no matter what the scale is."

 Grief isn't relative, my horse being off twenty months doesn't make it any better for the person with a horse off two months/days etc.

 Acknowledge your sadness and hopefully it too will pass.

 When people said to me he'll be back as good as he was, clearly they do not know that and the first few times I did make that argument, then I realised they were trying to be supportive and just said thank you. I still may not have believed it, but just like when someone dies what do you say? You say something and we need to accept it in the way it was meant not as their knowing the literal truth.

 I think assuming the best of people helps for happiness.

 I also think there is little point in taking things personally, my mother always used to say 'if the cap fits' so generally I do my best to assume it isn't personal (even if the cap fits I sure as hell am NOT going to admit that!), anyway even if it is, then never complain, never explain serves me better and totally ignore it.

 This took a great deal of willpower earlier this year, but I think doing so made a rough time less rough, remind me of this later!

 So happiness for me is a habit and yes life can be a sh1t storm but you keep putting one foot in front of the other and eventually this too will pass.

 And if all else fails then as Joel Osteen said

 "If you cannot be positive then at least be quiet"

 Well it amused me!