Tyranny of the trainer

Firstly this is not about me or anyone in particular that I know it is a work of fiction with some snippets of reality.

So how did we get to this position where we pay someone to *help* us yet when they are less than helpful we

1/ Don't give them any feedback to this effect

2/ Stay quiet for fear of upsetting them and ignore the fact we're also upset and paying handsomely for the privilege

3/ Keep paying them and yet not try a different trainer so we don't hurt their feelings? What about *our* feelings.


It is too much to ask for a trainer who

1/ Actually leaves you feeling better about your riding post lesson than pre lesson, clearly a trainer is not a miracle worker but you shouldn't be leaving 19 out of 20 lessons feeling bummed.

2/ Doesn’t diss their other students. Seriously you're being paid to teach no you don't have to like the person paying you but if you accept their money then be professional enough to follow 'if you can't say anything nice say nothing'

3/ Don't diss other trainers. It sounds like sour grapes especially if their students are doing better than yours. If your students are doing better then let that speak for itself.

4/ Doesn't try to sell you a wonderful uber horse. The horse I own is wonderful to me and is not going anywhere so you can either train me on my donkey or not train me at all.

5/ Doesn't sell you wonderful uber horse that turns out to be too hot for you to ride; so trainer ends up with the ride and you become an owner.

6/ Who doesn't tell you in your first (and last lesson) with them (yes this one is true) that riding is like a book going from A - Z and that you aren't even at the letter A.

In what other aspect of our lives would we let this go unchallenged yet somehow the heady smell of horse pooh turns confident capable women into women who 'keep the peace by saying nothing'. Would your colleagues at work recognise the person you become as soon as you smell horse pooh?

OK so that's the rant about trainers as students we also have responsibilities.

1/ Give feedback your trainer is not a mind reader.

2/ Do your homework

3/ If you don't understand ask, if they can't explain it to you simply enough for you to understand then they don't understand it thoroughly enough.

4/ Don't say things to your friends about your trainer you wouldn't say to their face. Respect is a two way street.

5/ Own your faults. My two biggest (not sole!) faults are collapsed right side and looking down. It is *not* up to SFO to keep telling me this. I know this, I need to do something about it.

This rant may get continued ...