Constantly on the verge of tears, when he did it the first time I didn't feel like this, this feels something like how it felt when I lost Skunk and yet C is alive and in no danger but I feel almost as low.
I feel responsible, it wasn't my fault what happened but it was my responsibility and I failed to keep him safe. The first time was just bad luck this one was preventable and I failed.
Seriously considering giving up riding and just having ponies as pets.
Yet in the midst of my misery I know I am blessed, I have a wonderful husband, YO, vet, physio and friends.
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