Game changing

Drove home from the yard today after my lesson in tears, with Bruce Springsteen on the CD player. It is always Bruce at times of great joy or sadness his music has been the background track to my relationship with the man who is now my husband. Today was one of those days that you'll remember for a very long time and the tears were good tears because today I'd had one of those game changing revelations and was overcome with the enormity of what I'd discovered.

It may turn out that it isn't *the* key to my confidence, but it is part of that journey and right now I think it is a large part.

Previously on Planet Alexis I've had times when things have felt sublime and time slows down and my confidence daemons are squashed and buried in a corner and everything seems possible. But I've never really known what makes for this feeling and thus how to reliably recreate it.

Today I have found a key and I'm overwhelmed with the possibility.

The key is something I call connection by which I'm not talking about 'over the back' in fact I find it hard to put into words but it is me and Chorrie there together in the moment and on the same side enjoying a partnership. It is a mental and physical connection. Time slows down and I can think but not about the 'what ifs' but plan, prepare and execute. I suspect others may recognize it as being similar to what athletes call 'being in the zone'

It was Clare who helped me find it and the odd thing is when I have it I'm confident, it was there hiding in plain sight I just needed someone to see it too and point it out to me. It is why my right rein has always been a more confident rein than my left but now I have tools to connect us on the left rein too and now I know what 'it' is; I know what I need to get to feel that way again.

I rode round the arena with 'connection' and whilst on the intellectual level I knew it wasn't the best trot we could produce, emotionally it was the best trot on Chorrie of my life because I now had the tools to reproduce the feeling.

World domination is but a step away :-)

Yard Diary Jan 2011

31st January 2011 Clare 10:00

30th January 2011 Steph Home Farm Supervisory driver; four barrow loads pooh cleared

29th January 2011 Sheena 11:00 or London?

28th January 2011 Clare 10:00

27th January 2011

26th January 2011

25th January 2011

24th January 2011 Clare 10:00

23rd January 2011 Sue Baker DTM Worton (owed lesson £0)

22nd January 2011 Hair 10:00

21st January 2011 Nicky 09:30

20th January 2011 Fred and Chorrie vet review 09:30one barrow pooh

19th January 2011 Barrow pooh Fred tail wash

18th January 2011 Yard am rode

17th January 2011 Clare 10:00

16th January 2011 Clare Goldie Worton 10:40 (Need to pay)

15th January 2011 Supper BB/SNP 19:30Hair 15:00Sheena 14:00

14th January 2011 Clare 10:00

13th January 2011

12th January 2011

11th January 2011 Supper M100 19:45 Usual place

10th January 2011 Clare 10:00

9th January 2011

8th January 2011

7th January 2011 Clare 10:00 Monsoon rain cancelled

6th January 2011 Rode

5th January 2011 Didn't ride knackered

4th January 2011 Didn't ride too late and going out

3rd January 2011 Clare 10:00

2nd January 2011 Rachel to hack C 08:30The great post snow pooh clear up begins - barrow 1

1st January 2011 Blue PTS Run free Blue Didn't ride too miserable :-(

Pooh and preparation

Preparation

Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. Struck me today I rarely ride a schooling session as though it were a test and that I have to do it on the marker right here right now no excuses and no you can't do another 20m circle to prepare. JFDI!

Need to address this as part of my paralysis by analysis issue!

Pooh

Am officially pooped! Shifted four barrows of pooh and managed to squash my OCD side and not do a final barrow to clear the field but get the boys in and get home where your husband is waiting to see you at some point!

Still wondering mind you if I could have got away with that fifth barrow!

Pole dancing across the school surface

Did some pole work for suppleness with Sheena today.

Took C down to arena and he went into prancy snorty pony mode and my confidence ebbed away.

Walked him around in hand a few times to try and get the tickle out of his toes, then he started spooking at the shoot. Was now about ready to call it a day then other person sharing turned up but not with her boy but with a horse she hacks out and by now I was really ready to call it a day.

11:15 and still no Sheena I had lesson starting at 11:00 tried calling her no answer so got on and just tried to remember that it doesn't matter what I do just do it well.

So did a square with walk pirouettes in corners, then a bit of in and out on a circle.

Now 11:30 and Sheena arrived having had the lesson down at 11:30 in her diary.

So on with the lesson.

Sheena commented how much more supple he was compared to the last time we did this type of pole work.

Still issues with canter when not carrying whip or wearing spurs as too tight in seat so end up collecting him rather than allowing him forward.

Spooky Pony!

Cold and windy and my abdominal pain from December 2008 is back so a less than positive mental attitude!

Mr Chorister was in a jolly mood high blowing in the cold wind and being a meerkat and looking at everything and nothing.

So not the best combination of attitudes possible.

Struggled to have us both connected left rein, I get too easily stuck in a pattern of doing X even though X isn't actually working. Need to recognise tendency and break cycle and do something different like Y if X isn't working. Doesn't matter too much what Y is just so long as it isn't X.

Did some work on left canter where have a tendency to block him, going into a slightly forward seat helps so something to work on.

He had a couple of what I think of as his amusing himself spooks, as he spooks at nothing but is very careful to stay under me. Need to keep his mind occupied and busy (sounds familiar for the rider too)

Confidence Issues

Need to accept not every day will be a great day, and on the less great days to do what I can do and to do it well. So walk pirouettes (C likes these) and into trot; in and out on a circle, quarters in/quarters out and travers.

Positional Issues

Need to quiet the leg and be aware that when he is not feeling connected I over compensate with my hands, so he then struggles to connect.

Ask quickly with the leg, ask release, ask release.

Right hand is improving and his contact is evening up.

Need to try and avoid paralysis by analysis, JFDI, think quicker oh smallish brain of mine!